#I would have done so today | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

delicatefury · 9 months ago

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I hate adderall.

I. Hate. Adderall.

Walmart is taking its sweet ass time filling my usual ADHD meds, so I had to use my (beloathed) back-up. Adderall.

I did not each lunch today. I did not leave work until 7:00 pm. I nearly didn’t eat anything for dinner. It’s 11:30 and I was compulsively washing dishes! Im supposed to be in bed!

But I can’t shut my stupid brain down. I fucking hate adderall and I’m going to feel like shit tomorrow.

#I’m skipping the meds tomorrow #I would have done so today #but I had clients coming in #and a shit ton of stuff that needed to be done #so the Sr. attorney could review it before she goes out of town #tomorrow is a lot more chill #and Thursday’s even better #(I was supposed to go to court 2 hours away but Sr. Attorney got everything settled so now my day is free!)#so I’m okay with not having my meds #except the commute #that’s gonna suck #adhd #actually adhd

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technically-human · 4 months ago

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Mandatory handjob joke

#dead boy detectives #dbda #payneland #edwin x charles #the Cat King wishes charles he WISHES #Niko what have you done #actually show your manga to charles as well #it's better than the alternative #(the internet. the internet is the alternative)#fandom i knew you would choose both on the poll #so i will be posting this today and the other one tomorrow #and then the girls i promised

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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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choccy-milky · 3 months ago

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💙 💚

#no comment....just take some cute seb and clora #the palate cleanser from my yandere pic😇#im going to a witch market today i cant wait to buy a bunch of knicknacks and thingamabobs. theres gonna be a harp player too LMAO #its gonna get wild yall im gonna bust a move to some harp music #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow x oc #choccyart #clora clemons #sebastian x mc #also to the anon who sent me that pokemon ask...i just want you to know you caused me to lose my ENTIRE EVENING!!!#bc i spent WAYYY too long trying to decide which pokemon seb and clora would have LMAOO but it is now done...🙏#it was so fun to work on tho

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vaguely-concerned · 2 months ago

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the mourn watch background gives you such a GIFT in having other characters notice and call out on-screen that rook code switches like a motherfucker. the whiplash of hearing my snarky 'heeey I'm just a little guy! :>' funnyman rook speak the heightened ritualized phrases of the mourn watch with perfect seriousness and gravity completely naturally and/or break into an academic tone that can keep up with emmrich at the drop of a hat never stops giving me such endless delight. truly their real mind is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside some hideous mourn watch casual wear

#that last one was just for comedic purposes rye would NEVER wear the mourn watch casual wear willingly #he hated the new livery so much he hoarded every pair of the older watcher robes he could hunt down so they'd tide him over #in the hopes that the next uniform design would be less awful. he is a fancyboy at heart. he should be wearing so many earrings #dragon age #dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age: the veilguard spoilers #dragon age spoilers #oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar #A Watcher's work is never done #rye's whole deal is half built on the feeling of 'we've had a lot of fun here today folks. but at the end of the day I have given my oath #and I mean to fulfil it. so either help me do that or get out of my fucking way' that sort of naturally rises out of this contrast #and everyone who has for a moment doubted his complete seriousness and sincerity about it so far has ended up much deeper #than six feet under by the end of it all haha #I've found I've actually been able to build a really good sense of character here (with some reloading to see different options #to be sure lol I am a control freak) -- mixing in a stoic response in certain situations for example can inform so much with so little #and the contrast works out to be so much greater.#just this sense of a layer of levity and awkwardness on top of an immense and unflinching seriousness #that sometimes shines through. it's uh. it's been really good for me

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months ago

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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol

#wax seal #crafts #wax stamp #stationery #Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night #sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together #with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite #since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa #the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax #did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm #alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because #otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking #set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife #and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh #ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors #of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c #RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I #think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give #everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the #visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven #city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating #somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do #stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol #elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other #thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot #though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh #waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool #Tis Always The Weather

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dandelion-roots · 1 year ago

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[ID: a digital redraw of the scene where chuuya shoots dazai in the shoulder. on the top of the drawing is chuuya holding a guy to dazai's head in the red and grey hallways of the prison. on the bottom of the drawing is dazai's pained face. the gunshot is shown stylistically as hectic lines behind his bloody shoulder. over the image is half a quote from goncharov that reads 'if we really were in love you wouldn't have missed.' the signature says dandelion-roots. end ID]

This quote from Goncharov (1973) in relation to soukoku has been haunting me from before I even got to that scene in the anime (the full thing is: Katya- Of course we're in love, that's why I tried to shoot you/ Goncharov- If we really were in love you wouldn't have missed). Violence as a tool for communicating emotions, especially love and hatred, especially love and hatred makes me go feral- how could I not think of the iconic quote that says that katya's miss was a sign of a lack of love/a fake love when chuuya didn't miss? Just... losing it over here.

#bsd #bsd s5 #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #soukoku fanart #bungou stray dogs season 5 #bsd spoilers #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #not to tell on myself but i just realized that i. used the wrong screenshot as ref JKDSKDJKDJ i have too many saved. its fine. u get it #just saying it in case anyone was confused #goncharov #also just to be clear if someone didnt understand the caption- i used the quote to be the opposite of what was happening #not to describe what was happening in the scene or to imply that chuuya later not killing dazai was him 'missing'#i get VERY specific imagery in my mind and i disregard everything else #and i do it in the way that would be incredibly confusing to most ppl at first glance. such is the world #im not wordy rn i cant fully describe my feral state after finishing bsd earlier today or this thing. hope u enjoy it anyway!#it was rly fun to do a screenshot redraw the bsd animation crew is so freaking talented and i got to see which colours they used where #i changed them bcs they wouldnt been too desaturated but lots of blues in the bg! colour theory babyyy #and got to play around w csp! fun fun been so long since ive done digital art

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doctorsiren · 5 months ago

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Angsty Psychic Lawers AU stuff?

like Separation Arc or Disbarment era

yeah so I decided Reigen’s disbarment was only gonna be 6 months since that’s the length of time that Mob was stuck in the mindscape world that Mogami made, and so it’s then the length of time that Mogami is Mob’s mentor (and also this allows the ages to not be all messed up LMAO haha)

#doctorsiren #mob psycho 100 #ace attorney #reigen arataka #keiji mogami #tome kurata #serizawa katsuya #phoenix wright #mp100 fanart #ace attorney fanart #mp100 au #ace attorney au #psychic lawyers au #digital art #my art #procreate #doodle requests #I would have done more but I’m tired lmao #i was working on a short animatic earlier today #siren tries to stop making Mogami a sexyman impossible challenge #next up: krisnix (which is then Reigen and Mogami) /silly #there is no 7yg in either world in these AUs #separation arc lasts the same amount of time it does in mp100 canon #and it’s kind of like when Apollo got all edgy and distant in AA5 and was like ‘I’m quitting for rn you jerks bye bye’#anyways sometimes these AUs hurt my brain bc it doesn’t match up or work exactly at first #so I have to do some mental gymnastics and find the solution 😁👍#LILY DO YOU LIKE BEANIX REIGEN IDK WHY BUT HE SEEMS RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY /silly

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skellydun · 1 year ago

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IT IS OVER!!!!! WORK IS OVER FOR THE DAY!!!!! EVERYBODY CLAP!!!! YAY END OF WORK DAY!!!

#end of workday would also be good but we will celebrate what we can #i have been part of this charity committee which we love bc its a good cause bUT IM HAPPY ITS OVER!!!!#i am so tired we have done so many team dinners / lunches/ today was the charity happy hour and tomorrow we have a lunch #i cant socialize this much. i cant. im antisocial i am so drained.#i had to drink a Yuengling at the happy hour like a straight dad and worked the door

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buwheal · 7 months ago

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Spamton please go to sleep, you look really tired

#No clue why you thought telling /HIM/ of all people what to do would work #even if he /knows/ its something he should #he wont.#:-3 #[you've got mail!]#spamton #spamton g spamton #deltarune #deltarune spamton #deltarune chapter 2 #this one was slow today cause im siiiccckkkkk and i wish i coulda done more on the animation front but im happy w it.#it gets what i want across #he can be creepy. as a treat.#he is so exhausted but theres a good handful of reasons i have for why he wont unless he HAS to.#..unless hes /forced/ to. which is inevitable.#wuagh

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chiropteracupola · 1 year ago

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A very fine captain, and a finer friend.

#em draws stuff #em is posting about temeraire #temeraire #william laurence #sizes are not Quite right here but we will improve with time #I think temeraire would be Much larger by the time he gets his frills but also I was constrained by the fact that I was drawing on paper #not 100% settled on his look either but his antlers are Important to me even if they're not canonical #it has been Years since I drew any dragons I think... oh far too long :(#v. excited to sketch up some of the other excellent fellows in the coming months (starting reading throne of jade tomorrow!)#way back in 2021 eve proto-language said the way I drew pullings at the time was granby-reminiscent so I have been picturing That #let's see if I have improved since 2021 <- very probably I have done so #'specially as someone looked in my sketchbook today and saw this and told me I should be illustrating books #bestie (note: not bestie at all) you know I would if I could :/

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gophergal · 8 months ago

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boinga. boinga. boinga. boinga.

bonus heby weapon man:

#gopher art #tf2 medic #tf2 heavy #heavymedic #red oktoberfest #team fortress 2 #he is watching. respectfully.#spice ish #just adding that tag to be safe #been a while since I've done 2d animation #and ive never 2d animated any mercs yet. so this is the first of that #ive been going down memory lane a lot today and I wonder what 17 yr old gopher would have thought about my art now #i think they'd be fuckin embarrassed (because people are looking at this) but envious (because I've improved since then)#sentimental shit aside: medic likes to flaunt his assets. we know this. burly beast exists for a reason. and its to flaunt the assets #gopher - 1 firealpaca - 0

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eggy-the-boy · 2 years ago

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some more memes of the gang + a Kipps (because he grew on me)

#i told ya'll I would make more and you have all been so sweet on my other ones!!!#if any of these have been done before no they haven't #I want to make so many idk what it is about these characters #I love them all #also the deleted scenes came out today wooooooooo!!#anyways #lockwood and co #lockwood & co #lockwood and co netflix #lucy carlyle #anthony lockwood #george karim #quill kipps #kipps #text post

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royalarchivist · 1 year ago

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After completing the Nether minigame, a short video plays showing some of the last things the Eggs did before they disappeared.

[Muted the irrelevant cross-talk because it was loud and distracting.]

#QSMP #Tubbo #Blue Team #The Eggs #QSMP Eggs #Purgatory #Soul Fire #Muted irrelevant cross-talk because it was distracting #I was going to wait for QSMP to post a clean video they played of the Eggs #But I know not everyone is watching stream today #Likewise I will probably not be posting any other clips from today #I don't watch streams on the weekend #also there's only two people online for this event so #* two people who are LIVE and online #Wish this had been done on Monday instead I feel bad for Etoiles and all the other streamers #I'm sure the admins have their reasons but. Two streamers #I hope green team doesn't log in at all because that would be genuinely so funny LMAO #Blue Team twiddling their thumbs like ''erm. so what now''#realistically they could still win even if green didn't log in but that'd be BM imo #Though I don't think anyone is genuinely going to die #likewise I don't think any Eggs are going to die #it'll all be ok it's just a game

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bonicedemandarina · 2 months ago

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Click for better quality!

Hey guys I'm still into wha btw, here's my art for the deciduous spells zine, just wanted to draw my favorite guys being happy for once.

I feel like my art always ends up being in a modern au idk how, it just keeps happening

#I don't talk enough about how much I love these guys #also can you tell this was my first time drawing Coustas and Tartah? Probably #this one is from September so it's a lil rushed bc I was going thru it with uni homework (I still am)#Man I want to make more fanart but something always comes up yk how it is #Wha zine #Wha fanart #coco witch hat atelier #Coustas witch hat atelier #Tartah #Coustas #atelier of witch hat #witch hat atelier #i drew something #Wha coco #Wha Coustas #Wha tartah #It's not really an old piece but tbh I probably would have done some things differently if I'd made it today #the composition never quite satisfied me with this one you have no idea how many sketches I made and none ended up looking good ughhh #But whatever what's done it's done life goes on and all that #Alt text #image description in alt #image described #image description in alt text #I feel like I always put too many tags saying the same thing #Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes in the alt text there might be idk English

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icewindandboringhorror · 10 days ago

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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems

#sketchbook #scrapbook #Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at #but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open #image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best #medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a #limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont #know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and #excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines #and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch #pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color #or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being #'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my #outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one #more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page #before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then #was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down #stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and #having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's #a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the #scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol #Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube #face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to #work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time #be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm #(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a #pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)

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